Ever talk to someone and you feel you’re short for words or perhaps the conversation went a lot faster than you anticipated? Happens to me all the time and yet when texting, messaging or any of these other source of virtual conversations, it can go for hours. I guess I’m more expressive in this manner but then again I know many who feel the same way. I’m sure there’s a reason behind that but that’s not why I feel the need I should blog after 36 years of my existence. I tend to be pretty private when it comes to my life and I hold back things from many including those closest to me. Perhaps it’s a trust issue or simply just the way I was built. Friends and family don’t really know much about what’s going on in my life and less in my head. Sometimes I don’t know myself what’s going on or will happen with these thoughts, are they just that thoughts or are these signs on things I should act on. I wouldn’t trust myself to act on half the thoughts I have in my head, that’s all I know!

So why blog? Well, why not? I think this might be a way of getting things off my chest. Might be self therapeutic, clear the mind a bit, generate new ideas or get to know myself a bit better. Know myself? Yes. You can be amazed on the things you can discover about yourself and what you’re capable of doing, except you don’t know until you try. So my current situation is as follows: At work, all problem tickets completed (since I’m in IT), plugged in my headphones and put on some “Soft Background Music” on Amazon Music and here I am free writing. Temporarily disconnected by those around me until my 2nd monitor shows another ticket come through.

When I mentioned blogging, I was asked why not post or vent on Facebook? Guess that’s what it seems people are using it for but only problem with that is, too many distractions for the most part and people tend to take things out of context and what might be something serious turns out into a joke and deviated into a whole different topic. I don’t see Facebook as personal as it used to be and of course there’s the other problem, when you mention an issue you’re having or experience, people always aim for that person closest to you. I may vent on how someone can no longer be trusted or unreliable and automatically others think “uh oh, problems in the relationship” when it may reflect on either a long term customer or even contractor. I leave names out of course so that creates the problem of leaving it up to the imagination of others and unfortunately many people’s thoughts are as far as two feet in front of them.

If you know me personally, you’ll know that I’m not too fond of people, even though I’m a magnet for people expressing to me everything about their life without me even knowing them. I can be in a sauna with a shirt that says “Do me a favor and shut up” and someone will still talk to me about their personal life and matters they’re going through. I won’t be rude either and tell them to read the shirt so  I’ll interact with them as well in the conversation, perhaps agree with them or tell them what they want to hear but in my mind I’m thinking “if I only had the ability to put thoughts in their head and tell them to read the shirt and do as it says.” There have been instances where I see pictures or videos of someone committing an act of kindness and it’s titled “humanity restored” but I feel it takes much more than one or a dozen acts of kindness to save all the years of brutality and inhumane acts taken place for humanity to be restored. I feel humans are the ones to destroy the very own place we live in, Earth. It’ll be out pure and utterly stupidity that destroys our species and every other one along with it. We’re the only species basically working for the majority of entire existence to live on our own planet. I don’t know about others but I find that highly idiotic!

At this point, I’ve been interrupted numerous times and being where I’m at, this is expected, so of course previous thoughts went out the window. Considering this being my first non-technical blog and I started wondering “what shall I write and start off with,” I’d have to say this isn’t such a bad start. Until next time…



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