If the Shoe Fits

Ever get that feeling when something or someone says or does something  in a sense reveals your wrong doing? Perhaps you said or did something to someone. All of a sudden the things they do or say seem as if it’s directly towards you. Now you’re questioning yourself  “is that towards me and how do they know?” Perhaps they don’t know it was you but of course you start reacting towards what they did and now you’ve revealed yourself to them and your true colors. Funny how things work in the world! That’s what a guilty conscience does to a person. Reveals to people how cynical you can be. Now with social media, people are brought out of the light more and more everyday. A 1 minute post on a social media platform can break a relationship. There’s only one way around this scenario, a way to avoid this feeling of guilt within. It’s pretty simple actually. Just stop for a moment and think of how can you avoid from having this “guilt” feeling inside. One word and form of action will prevent you from embarrassing yourself…Stop! That’s it. Just plain and simple, stop. Stop doing whatever it is that your thinking of doing. Stop being so selfish. Stop belittling people to make yourself feel superior to impress those who more than likely don’t care about you. In the end, you’re lowering your standards, embarrassing yourself and definitely belittling yourself, not the other person. At the end of the day, is it really worth it all? If you don’t like a person then stop pretending to be their friend. Don’t like what they wear, stop looking. Don’t like what they say, stop listening. Don’t like what they do, stop being around them. It’s pretty simple. Stop. That’s all.



We all have something that we’re in favor of whether it’s a color, number, car, hobby or even a person. For the most part it’s some type of material object that usually doesn’t hurt anyone such as a number or color. But what happens when it’s a person? Someone at work who’s your manager’s favorite or even someone above the manager and this can be because they look a certain way, think alike or worse, know them at a personal level. So no matter what you do or how hard you work and education or degrees you have under your built, this person will basically shine more than you. You put in the extra hours, you constantly show this person how to do their job since they were hired out of favoritism in which you and everyone else knows they’re not fit for the job yet they still seem to get credit and appreciated for things while you’re in their shadow. Sucks doesn’t it?

Now imagine that same feeling of never meeting to someone’s expectation at home, with your family! What if no matter what you did and how much you try to succeed in life, one of your parents or worse both parents always expect the worst. Seems to be a common scenario and it’s unfortunate actually. I was always told that I’m the favorite yet this is something I never asked for or wanted. How they would do anything for me yet I was independent since I was able to work and get my own things. I tried working before I was allowed to work simply because I wanted to buy my own things with my earnings. Kids nowadays expect things for no reason at all. They’re soft! Is that their fault? No, of course not because the parent(s) raised them to be a marshmallow, giving them a hundred reasons not to do things because they might get a scratch on their precious flimsy malnourished body. Some families treat their girls how boys should be treated and boys like girls by giving them everything they want and doing everything for them. Everything seems to be backwards to the point that kids don’t even know what bathroom to use and these pathetic stories are being eaten up by the media and it’s allowed. Parents yell at their kids for misbehaving or throwing a tantrum because for the first time in their mindless life they’re asked to do something, but that very same parent goes out rioting because they didn’t get the President they wanted or perhaps someone, that they didn’t know at all, was shot for committing a crime while armed and they feel that’s injustice towards their race. Really? This is what kids have to look up to, these selfish role models we have as parents.

On top of the nonsense and stupidity many parents are doing which already damages kids understanding of right and wrong, let’s add favoritism to the board. Your kid already has issues knowing what to do since you contradict what you tell them and actually show them. I mean, it’s one thing if you don’t like kids for your own reasons so why not make sure you don’t have any by surgery or taking the necessary precautions. Now you have someone who does like kids and starts a soccer team of kids or have a couple if that’s what they decide. Why the favorite though? You had X amount of kids, can’t say they were all accidents at this point, so you obviously wanted them and like kids. What determines like one kid more from the other? Their gender? If you like kids, then you should like either boy or girl equally. Is it something physical from the outside or something internal? You do realize that either way you look at it, this is a human being that you decided to make knowing that he/she might turn out just like you or your partner or perhaps someone in the family! If you feel that this child you created isn’t as smart as you then perhaps you didn’t show them the things that you know.

Just like everyone and everything, you learn by being taught and you didn’t learn the things you were taught on your own. Someone else showed you what you know and who knows, perhaps they thought the same about you. Damn, this kid is as dumb as door knob! Years later, you’re doing the same thing to your kid because you don’t want to do what your parents did to you right? Don’t do to  others what you don’t want to be done to you is what you show kids, yet here you are treating your kids like crap because they don’t meet up to your expectations. Perhaps they’re set too high or perhaps you didn’t meet them yourself when you were a child but then you fall back on your own words on doing what was done to you. How about that? In the end, however many kids you have, they’re a reflection of what you created. Your very own Frankenstein that you designed with someone else. If they are smart or dumb, pretty or ugly, thin or fat, male or female…you made a decision on bring that human being to the world. So why favor one over the other? They didn’t decide to be created, you did! Why bend over backwards for one child giving and doing everything that child for no reason, while the other who’s more than likely seeking out for your attention, gets the minimal attention or help? Do you even realize that the one you ignore probably worships the ground you walk on while “your favorite” takes advantage of you because they know they can get whatever they want from you, yet doesn’t give a shit on what happens to you because you raised a selfish prick who expects nothing less from everyone. They want to be treated like a King or Queen because that’s what the parents showed them right before they want to that riot.

What happens when you get old and can’t do nothing on your own anymore? Do you think that this monster you created will come help you when in need or will they still expect you to do everything for them? More than likely they will come back around ONLY when they need something from you. If you can’t provide they leave and perhaps next time will be to collect from your will when you pass! How about the “outcast” or “blacksheep” you treated like shit throughout their life? Guess who’s going to be there next to you when you need help, the one to uplift you and hold your hand when sick or on your deathbed. Of course that’s if they didn’t go into depression because you were such a lousy parent that you couldn’t love all your kids equally.

I don’t think anyone in their right mind says “I want to have a dysfunctional, broken up family where we all loathe each other.” For the most part we want to be together, spend holidays with each other and who doesn’t want to see at the very least, everyone united when taking our last breath. Can we honestly expect this when dividing the family by having a favorite? I don’t think that will be the case and in fact there will be hatred, regret and resentment. Imagine being on your deathbed and thinking back of all the things you could’ve done differently with that selfish prick of a child and distraught other. Why go through it to begin with and not just equally cherish what you created and treat them all equally. Help them all equally and discipline them all the same way. Parenting isn’t easy and it never will be, if you truly want to be a good parent of course. Not saying I’m a good father or I can give advice on being a good parent but at the same time I’m not going to do what most parents are doing now and wondering why this new generation is destroying everything. That’s your own fault, not the TV you bought them or the video game you allowed them to play because again, YOU bought it for them! Don’t blame them for your mistake, own up to it.

My first non-IT blog post

Ever talk to someone and you feel you’re short for words or perhaps the conversation went a lot faster than you anticipated? Happens to me all the time and yet when texting, messaging or any of these other source of virtual conversations, it can go for hours. I guess I’m more expressive in this manner but then again I know many who feel the same way. I’m sure there’s a reason behind that but that’s not why I feel the need I should blog after 36 years of my existence. I tend to be pretty private when it comes to my life and I hold back things from many including those closest to me. Perhaps it’s a trust issue or simply just the way I was built. Friends and family don’t really know much about what’s going on in my life and less in my head. Sometimes I don’t know myself what’s going on or will happen with these thoughts, are they just that thoughts or are these signs on things I should act on. I wouldn’t trust myself to act on half the thoughts I have in my head, that’s all I know!

So why blog? Well, why not? I think this might be a way of getting things off my chest. Might be self therapeutic, clear the mind a bit, generate new ideas or get to know myself a bit better. Know myself? Yes. You can be amazed on the things you can discover about yourself and what you’re capable of doing, except you don’t know until you try. So my current situation is as follows: At work, all problem tickets completed (since I’m in IT), plugged in my headphones and put on some “Soft Background Music” on Amazon Music and here I am free writing. Temporarily disconnected by those around me until my 2nd monitor shows another ticket come through.

When I mentioned blogging, I was asked why not post or vent on Facebook? Guess that’s what it seems people are using it for but only problem with that is, too many distractions for the most part and people tend to take things out of context and what might be something serious turns out into a joke and deviated into a whole different topic. I don’t see Facebook as personal as it used to be and of course there’s the other problem, when you mention an issue you’re having or experience, people always aim for that person closest to you. I may vent on how someone can no longer be trusted or unreliable and automatically others think “uh oh, problems in the relationship” when it may reflect on either a long term customer or even contractor. I leave names out of course so that creates the problem of leaving it up to the imagination of others and unfortunately many people’s thoughts are as far as two feet in front of them.

If you know me personally, you’ll know that I’m not too fond of people, even though I’m a magnet for people expressing to me everything about their life without me even knowing them. I can be in a sauna with a shirt that says “Do me a favor and shut up” and someone will still talk to me about their personal life and matters they’re going through. I won’t be rude either and tell them to read the shirt so  I’ll interact with them as well in the conversation, perhaps agree with them or tell them what they want to hear but in my mind I’m thinking “if I only had the ability to put thoughts in their head and tell them to read the shirt and do as it says.” There have been instances where I see pictures or videos of someone committing an act of kindness and it’s titled “humanity restored” but I feel it takes much more than one or a dozen acts of kindness to save all the years of brutality and inhumane acts taken place for humanity to be restored. I feel humans are the ones to destroy the very own place we live in, Earth. It’ll be out pure and utterly stupidity that destroys our species and every other one along with it. We’re the only species basically working for the majority of entire existence to live on our own planet. I don’t know about others but I find that highly idiotic!

At this point, I’ve been interrupted numerous times and being where I’m at, this is expected, so of course previous thoughts went out the window. Considering this being my first non-technical blog and I started wondering “what shall I write and start off with,” I’d have to say this isn’t such a bad start. Until next time…